I am a little tired of these phrases too.

I get that "victim blaming" is problematic. When I got beaten unconscious in a hate attack, I got victim blamed too. My mum did it too just a few days ago, when she said, "You shouldn't have been so silly to be out that late at night."

Yes, those guys who attacked me shouldn't have done it. Still, my mum has a point. If I wasn't out at an hour (round about midnight) when pubs are closing and some inebriated troublemakers are roaming the street, I would have had a reduced chance of being attacked.

To me, whether the culpability for the attack falls 100% on them, or 90%, or 80%, or whatever it is, is semantics. I got attacked. If I'd gone out earlier, the chances I'd have been attacked would have been much less. That's all there is to it.